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Online Dating Red Flags: What to Watch Out For

Dating can be an exciting journey, full of thrill and potential relationships. Nevertheless, it's important to practice vigilance and an awareness of potential red flags that indicate the prospect of a toxic relationship. Identifying these signs early on will help you stay emotionally safe, avoid loneliness, and deviations from healthy relationship expectations.

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1. Disrespecting Boundaries

A toxic relationship is one of the primary indicators of a partner who constantly disrespects your boundaries. This becomes behaviour when you have made it clear that you feel overburdened with communication; texting and calling constantly, or trying to pressure you into physical intimacy before you are ready. All research shows that boundaries are the foundation of any health-promoting initiative, and in their absence, dependence can develop, creating a sense of confusion and anxiety.

2. Extreme Jealousy

A little bit of jealousy is perfectly reasonable in a relationship, but extreme jealousy is a major red flag. This can also mean being disrespectfully interrogated on your location or connections to others. There is a substantial body of research that associates these behaviour patterns (extreme jealousy) with emotional abuse and controlling behaviour that can develop into a toxic cycle of dependency and fear. If you feel or see your partner being jealous to the point that it makes you uncomfortable, it is worth addressing or taking a look at the relationship.

3. Lack of Communication Skills

To build a healthy relationship, there must be effective communication between partners. If your partner doesn’t listen to your feelings or struggles to express their feelings, then it could lead to uncertain couple conflicts. Research shows that it is a sign of poor communication that often results in anger and misunderstanding, which can contribute to emotional distress and ultimately lead to a breakup. Healthy relationships develop when you have open conversations, are aware and avoid partners who refuse to engage in thoughtful conversation.

4. Dishonesty and Cheating

If you know that your partner has a past that is full of cheating, then this is a sign that you are dating a red flag. Some research shows that any person who has cheated in past relationships is more likely to repeat this behaviour. Although people can change their behaviour, a pattern of dishonesty may lead to basic issues with emotional maturity and commitment. Open conversation about past relationships can reveal a partner’s values and how they view intimacy.

5. Uncertain Past Trauma

It is unusual and typically very challenging for an individual to carry unresolved emotional issues into new relationships. In the case where a partner references previous trauma frequently or struggles to regulate their emotional responses, the potential for instability is created in your relationship. Research confirms that there can be emotional abuse that results from unresolved trauma in defining their feelings and their projection of pain onto their partners. Empathy is being compassionate, but if your partner is not pursuing help, like online counselling or therapy, you may be at risk.

6. Examples of Manipulative Behaviours

There are many manipulative behaviours, and gaslighting and guilt-tripping are examples. If your partner regularly places accountability on you for their emotional state or responds to you, this is a serious red flag. Emotional manipulation is dangerous behaviour and can create longer-term psychological effects like loneliness and anxiety. Healthy relationships are a collaboration of mutual respect and care, not based on coercion or control.

7. Disregard of Your Feelings

If your partner repeatedly dismisses your feelings or worries, they are unlikely to be able to achieve a healthy view of a relationship. If your partner tries to dismiss when you express worry about sexual dysfunction, for instance, or minimise your experience, this could hinder intimacy. Research suggests emotional validation is vital to a relationship's satisfaction. Lacking emotional validation can leave us with feelings of neglect and abandonment.

8. Want to Change Your True Self

If your partner is trying to pressure or coerce you to change your appearance, behaviours, or beliefs to suit their preferences, this should raise a red flag. This is an example of behaviour that often suggests either a lack of acceptance or appreciation of who you are. According to research, relationships operate best when there is respect for each other. In many instances, attempts to change a partner into someone they aren't create feelings of anger and tension.

9. Avoidance of Conflict

Avoidance is just as harmful as fighting; consistently avoiding conflicts can leave unresolved tension in your relationship. If your partner prevents discussions about important matters or sidesteps problems, it can get frustrating. Couples who constructively resolve conflict tend to experience more satisfying relationships. If your partner constantly avoids talking about important things, it sometimes indicates a fear of intimacy or commitment. 

10. Over-Reliance on Each Other

While we seek closeness with partners, when this becomes over-reliance on one another, it can lead to emotional dependence and inhibit personal growth and autonomy. Research has shown that both partners should encourage one another to foster both independence and intimacy, and expect you to provide for all her emotional needs; the result of this is a feeling of being suffocated. 

Always Seek Help

If you've identified some of these red flags in your relationship, it may be worth seeking help through online relationship counselling. They can help you to clarify what you're experiencing, suggest strategies to resolve these conflicts, and give you support. Online relationship counselling is a great solution whether you have problems letting go of feelings of loneliness, want to bring attention to couple conflicts, are unsure about feelings of intimacy, or want to share thoughts of family of origins - the benefit of online counselling is flexibility.

Conclusion 

Dating should be a positive experience where you enrich your life. By being proactive and recognising these red flags, you can guide yourself in protecting yourself from emotional abuse, unhealthy relationship dynamics and living on your own. Just remember, open communication, trust and respect are fundamental components of a healthy relationship. If at some point you find yourself in a miserable and toxic relationship, reach out for help, for your emotional health deserves it.

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